Sunday, July 14, 2013

DAY 694... There's Something About Family

Spencer and I have been talking a lot lately about family. Not specifically our family, but about the responsibilities and all of the work that has to go into a family in order for it to be successful and happy. Let's face it, so many people refuse to make themselves happy and think that because they are married that they must sit through it and be miserable. WRONG. Those people are lazy and just like to complain in my opinion. Being married and having a family is HARD work. When a person gets married they assume so much responsibility. You are not allowed to be selfish any longer, yet so many people become even more selfish after they get married, which only ends up destroying the marriage. I'm not sure if these selfish people would even be willing to change if they got a second chance to fix their behavior. Some people are just selfish no matter what. And I feel awful because these selfish people always seem to marry the nicest people and those people get a life that they never deserved. I think that you can be allowed a few months to adjust to your situation of being married, but in my opinion, if these behaviors continue to persist longer than a year, there is a bigger problem. Spencer and I do not always get along. (hehe) We are both crazy stubborn and we were 25 when we got married and so there was a lot of time being single and doing what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it and spending money however we pleased and so we needed to adjust and it did take time. But I feel as though I definitely have more good to say about our life together, our marriage, as opposed to bad. In my opinion if you are only saying bad about your marriage, or you struggle to find the good when talking to others about your spouse, you may just have a problem. We may irritate each other, but we love and have so much respect for each other that we are quick to apologize and slow to react harshly. It has taken time to not over-react, but I think after almost 2 years of marriage, we are beginning to understand what it means to be married and be a family. I am by no means a marriage expert (fun fact, my minor was marriage and family studies in my undergraduate studies), but I am just so sad and brokenhearted to be surrounded by so many dysfunctional and selfish marriages. People need to stand up for their marriage and take on the responsibilities and covenants that they made. The hardest part about being married for me was realizing that I had my own family now. This got easier when we had Aniston and I felt more like a family. My family consists of Spencer, Aniston and I. Spencer and I didn't cut off communication or contact with our parents or siblings, but we realized and understood that they were not a part of our marriage and that should not run our family for us. We run our family. We, together, make the decisions for our family. I think, that besides being selfish, putting others before your own husband, the man that you promised to love and honor forever, is the quickest way to end your marriage. And it happens all the time. Wives, stop taking advantage of your husbands! They work so hard to provide for us and they are awesome! Why else would we have married them?

Like I said, I'm not an expert, I just have feelings and thoughts and this is my blog so I can write them here. I am grateful to be surrounded by the amazing examples of what a good and healthy marriage is suppose to be, but I am more grateful for a wonderful and loving husband who is patient with me. I am thankful to be married to a man who knows what needs to be done, and who is not afraid to do those things, that will help build and develop and healthy and strong relationship. I sure do love my Spencer!

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