Thursday, March 26, 2015

DAy 1303... Our BIG news and our BIG boy

Life is so unpredictable! I guess that's what makes it kind of fun right? Fun, and at the same time challenging and frustrating and exciting. When I was younger I knew exactly how my life would play out, right down to the names of my children. Life definitely had other plans for me. And Spencer vetoed very single one of the names I liked for children. Seriously, it's a miracle that Aniston and Benson even have names because we are the worst at name picking! That's hard stuff!

Speaking of Benson, our little man turned 4 months old yesterday! He is just amazing! He is super smiley and just such an easy baby. The past week he has been giving me one heck of a nightmare when it comes to sleeping at night, but I'm convinced it's just a stage and that someday this tired momma will get to sleep again. He is still obsessed with his swing and his sister! He has decided that baths can be fun and that his thumb is fun to suck on. He is kind of massive. He weighs 15.8lbs and is just the cutest chunk. But he is still short. Poor little guy. But short and fat is a wonderful baby combination!

Okay, now for our big news which is the reason I'm sure you're reading this. Spencer and I have been considering many options for our little family over the past several months. Should he keep going to school? Should he keep going to school at BYU Idaho? Should we put the kids in daycare so I can use my masters degree and work again? Should we move? Should we stay? Just so many questions. Personally, I hate the idea of daycare. I want to be the one raising my kids and I was determined to do everything in my power to make that happen. So I knelt down and had a little conversation with my Heavenly Father. I told him that something needed to change, and that if Spencer was suppose to be here and going to school here, we would need a miracle. But I also told him that we were okay moving. Shortly after that conversation we decided that I needed to start applying for jobs. I was applying for about 30 jobs a week all around the country. It was stressful, gave me an absurd amount of anxiety and was super time consuming. Of all the jobs I applied for, I only applied for 2 in Rexburg. Immediately I got calls and set up interviews for both those jobs. I was instantly offered one of the jobs. A real life, big kid job that would require daycare for the kiddos. It was a wonderful opportunity, but we didn't feel like it was the right one for our family. So, before my other interview, for the job that would be the answer to our prayers, I turned down the job offer.  Crazy right? Well after the most awkward couple interview ever... Seriously, has anyone ever participated in a couple interview with your spouse? It was such a unique experience... We were offered the job we really wanted. When they offered it to me I was shaking and crying and I truly felt like the luckiest girl in the world! It was one of those moments were you dreamed it would happen but never really thought it would because things like that just don't happen to you. It was definitely a slap in the face and it is obvious to us that we are suppose to be in Rexburg. 

The job is managing a boys apartment complex. These are very coveted and difficult jobs to obtain in Rexburg. Why you ask? Well because you get free rent, and paid on top of that. It's really the ideal job for a student with a family. The best part? My office is attached to the apartment and the kids can be around so that we don't have to put them in daycare! Spencer will act as the maintenance man for the complex and I will handle all the other management duties. It does mean that we will be leaving our awesome huge house and moving back into an apartment, but we really like the apartment and are okay with the entire situation. It will be our 5th home in 3 1/2 years of marriage,  but who's counting? We are really excited to start downsizing and simplifying our life. We are excited for the opportunity to work together as a couple and to strengthen our relationship. We really are feeling very very blessed and insanely lucky! Basically it was the BEST St. Patrick's Day ever. (That's when we were offered the job).

I have been training every day and it has been great. I have big shoes to fill, but I am just so excited for this wonderful opportunity. It's definitely one of those times when you know that you are where you are suppose to be. We weren't suppose to be moving until the end of April, but surprise surprise, we are moving next weekend. Super exciting! Just for kicks and giggles, look at the smiles of my babies! They have been angels through this entire process and the training. Life is so good!

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

DAY 1294... Changing Your Luck

I use to think that I was unlucky. Unlucky in every single way possible.

This was me. I was 25, unmarried, not graduated from college, waking up at 4am to go to ESPN game day, working everyday, and just not really having meaning in my life. I was convinced that something was wrong with me. I didn't have a boy friend and I wasn't married. At this point my younger sister had been married for 3 years already!

And I had been an aunt for awhile.

I was having a really hard time being happy for other people. Seriously, this was taken at my best friends wedding...

Then one day everything changed. I decided that I needed to be happier and that I could be happier and that it was up to me to be happy and make that change. So I did. And I started to get lucky. 

I graduated from college.

I met the LOVE of my life.

I got engaged.

I got married.

I got pregnant.

My amazing cheer team won 5th place at USA cheerleading nationals.

I had a beautiful baby girl.

I got pregnant again.

I graduated with my master's degree.

I had a beautiful baby boy.

And all of this happened in 4 short years. 

I LOVE the movie Titanic. I just love anything to do with the Titanic basically. Billy Zane has a line in the movie where he says, "A real man makes his own luck." I believe that 100%! I changed my attitude and the way I lived my life and that changed my luck. attitude truly is everything. And now, here I am today, with an amazing husband and two insanely beautiful children. How grateful I am for my life. Is it perfect? Oh heck no. Far from it in fact, but it is good. It is wonderful!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!! Go Change Your Luck!

Friday, March 13, 2015

DAY 1290... Moments

We are so busy! There have been a lot of unexpected changes and things happening in our life. I can't wait to share them with you, but I still need a few more days. Meanwhile, here are some fun pictures and videos of our life lately. Gosh I love my family!

Benson finally decided he was ready to laugh and I am  OBSESSED! We have been trying for weeks to get a giggle and I tell you what... he did not disappoint!

Aniston LOVES black beans so excuse her messy face, but this girl provides us with some of the BEST dinner time entertainment. Dinner is never boring at our house.

This girl knows when she is being tricked. I cannot get over how she responds so quickly to me trying to get her to come to me. S-A-S-S-Y!

Just for pure cuteness factor, here's another.

We have had beautiful weather lately and we definitely have been taking advantage of it. We go to the park almost everyday! I'm still trying to figure out my new camera, so I have been taking pictures like crazy! Here are a few of my favorites.

Monday, March 2, 2015

DAY 1279... Diagnosed

It has been a rough 3 weeks for me. When we returned from Utah, I noticed that my thighs where covered in massive bruises and my legs were covered in bumps. I soon realized that the bruises were from me scratching my legs because they were incredibly itchy. I didn't even know that it was possible to create bruises through itching! It was kind of creepy because the bruises looked like hand prints. It's a good thing I wasn't wearing shorts because people would have thought Spencer was beating me or something. Fast forward 3 weeks later and the itching and bumps and bleeding and bruises now covered not only my legs but also my feet my arms and neck my chest and the back of my hands. It was incredibly uncomfortable and scary. We thought at first it thought it was a food allergy to strawberries... So depressing, but after I stopped eating strawberries nothing changed. Thank goodness because strawberries are so insanely delicious! But then we were back to square one. I went and bought some Non scented lotion and body wash that was intended to be used for people who struggle with eczema it seemed to help but it wasn't working 100%. I wasn't sleeping at night because the itching was worse at night, I couldn't focus on anything because I was so itchy. I never had the chicken pox and I've never stepped in Poison Ivy and I had just never experienced an itch so intense.

Finally after 3 weeks, I got my stuff together and went to the dermatologist.


After a quick exam and ruling out scabies (thank goodness) the doctor came to the conclusion that the rashes and bumps and itching and bruising and bleeding was all stress induced. Can you believe that?

Stress has always been a part of my life. My brain just never turns off. I lay in bed at night thinking about what I should have done or what I should have said even though there is nothing that I can do about it. I worry constantly about being a good enough mother and wife. I have been very stressed lately about losing weight and stressing out about liking myself more. I have been stressed about the fact that I have a master's degree and I'm not doing anything with it. I have been stressing about whether or not my house is clean enough, whether or not I paid the bills on time and even stressing out about waking up on time in order to exercise in the morning. I stress over the 3 m&m's I ate that I shouldn't have and how I could have did that extra load of laundry instead of watching a movie. It's ridiculous. My brain never turns off. These things aren't super important and I truly believe that I am doing everything that I can to make my home and family and myself the best they possibly can be, but I am always stressing. Always.

I have never had my stress manifest itself this way before. It blew my mind. So the doctor prescribed me some Benadryl to take at night to ease the itch and to help me sleep. And yes, it works. Besides Benson waking up once or twice at night, I am sleeping like a champ! He also prescribed me a steroid for during the day that has completely eased the itching and my skin is finally looking better and returning to normal.

I feel grateful that this wasn't contagious and that my children and husband are healthy and safe, and that I am finding ways to better manage myself and the stresses in my life. I have started doing 15 minutes of yoga at bedtime in order to calm my mind and my spirit before I go to sleep and I have been looking into other ways to destress my life.

Learning to let go of stress and  calming my mind will definitely be a learning process, but I really don't see anyway that this will have a negative aspect on my life at all. I really think that this will be a really good thing for me and for my future. I am blessed in my life with beautiful children who love each other and who brighten my day. Life is too short to deal with itchy skin and stress.