Thursday, June 9, 2016

Three Things Thursday... Coaching

I have always loved sports.
Growing up I played a little bit of everything,
and a lot of somethings.

I always felt uplifted and inspired by the coaches that I had.
I was really really lucky to have the coaches that I did.

So when I grew up and had the opportunity to coach,
I jumped on it.
I coached competitive cheerleading at 2 different high schools for 4 years,
and yesterday,
I just started coaching my Aniston's soccer team.

Here are 3 things that no one ever told me about coaching.

1. You will never get paid what you're worth.

Maybe this one doesn't apply to coaches for college or professional level teams,
but that a very small portion of coaches.

You will put in hours and hours of work,
and personal time that you will never get paid for.
You will never get paid for the hours you spend working on game plans,
designing uniforms,
you have a week of camp in the summer,
and then there's nationals.
it just won't happen.

well I,
spent so much time with my girls outside of practices for personal reasons.
They really became some of my best friends,
and 6 years later I communicate almost daily with some of them.

My second year coaching,
two of my girls were in a terrible car accident on the day of the  Homecoming dance.
Spencer and I rushed to the hospital to be with them and their families.
Both girls ended up missing the homecoming dance and it was so sad.
They had already bought their dresses and really wanted to go.
I threw them a Homecoming Dance.
Me and my team found a location,
we had music,
we all dressed up,
we took pictures,
and we made up for their missing their Homecoming dance.
It was amazing.
All of their teammates showed up and supported them.
But it wasn't something that I got paid for.
I did it because I loved spending time with them and I loved those girls.
They deserved a Homecoming dance.

As a cheer coach we only get 1 month off a year.
We work year round.
We have practice 3-5 times a week,

and in the Fall 1 football game a week,

and during the winter 2-3 basketball games a week.

And then with competition on top of that,
it can be exhausting and incredibly time consuming.

High schools just do not have the biggest budget for coaches.
I got paid about $2400 a year.
But I didn't do it for the money.
It was never about the money for me.
But money did cause an issue once I got married and began having children.
There came a time where I had to decide between coaching and family,
and it broke my heart into a thousand pieces,
and I cried for 2 years after I quit,
seriously I cried every single day for 2 years over my loss,
but I chose my family and I know that that was the right decision for me at that time.

2. The parents will be your biggest struggle.

You will have amazing parents that you will work with.
You will have supportive parents that you will work with.
But you will also have some really difficult and hard parents that you will work with,
and they will consume a lot of your energy and positive attitude.

I never once had an issue in Utah during the 2 years that I coached there with a parent.
The parents texted me,
called me,
offered help,
but never tore me down and respected their boundaries and me as a coach.
They fully supported me as a coach.

Once I moved to Idaho,
that changed.
I still had overwhelming support from most of my parents,
but the politics are ridiculous in Rexburg and caused some issues with some parents.

I had an athletic director that allowed parents to spend money out of my budget without getting approval from me.
I had parents who spread lies about me.
I had parents who,
when they didn't like how I coached,
went to administration about it.
I had parents who were basically living through their child and didn't understand rules and consequences.

Because I was younger than the parents,
they felt as though they could parent me,
and that is definitely not the case.

I am a very qualified coach who has numerous first place wins under her belt,
and a 5th place national win for a team that had never competed before.
I know what I am doing,
and to constantly have that questioned and to be walk all over was not okay.

It was incredibly hurtful,
extremely disrespectful,
and really rough for someone who constantly struggles with self esteem issues.

I feel like there's an air of exception among youth today,
and I don't understand it.
They aren't taught to respect coaches or adults,
and instead are taught that no matter what they do there will be no consequences and if there are you are an exception and you can get out of it.
That's not the way I work.
And that is definitely not the way that I am raising my children.

To put it bluntly,
parents ruined coaching for me.

3. You will never regret it.

Although I spent a lot of time away from my family,
and had some very difficult moments,
I will never regret my coaching experiences.

I made some of my very best friends from coaching,
and I made some amazing memories!

When I started coaching I was single.
My girls were there through my dating woes.
They were there when I got engaged,

They were there when I got married,

There were there when I got pregnant,
and when I had a baby.
they are some of my best friends!

They inspire me,
they uplift me,
and they are always there for me!

Coaching changes your life in a way that no one can prepare you for.

I am so grateful for my coaching days,
and someday I hope to go back to them.
The timing is not right currently,
and I never want to to coach cheer in Rexburg ever again.
I am having fun with my 3-5 year old soccer players.
It's a totally different experience,
but it has reignited my flame and love for coaching.

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