Thursday, June 23, 2016

Three Things Thursday... Raising a Son

I was blessed with a daughter as my first child.
She is sassy,
and so much drama.
She is perfect.

But then I had a son.
And everything was different.
In the best way possible of course.

Raising a son is so much different than raising a daughter.

Here are 3 things no one told me about having a son.

1. I Feel a Greater Responsibility to Make Sure He is a Gentleman

I want so much for Benson.
I want him to be smart,
but mostly I want him to be a gentleman.

I want him to open doors for his dates,
I want him to be respectful towards all women,
I want him to build women up,
and I really just want him to understand the recognize the importance of being a gentleman.

In the news we read so many horror stories about rape,
and even death between men and women.

I want to be the kind of mom who is able to somehow teach her son that those types of things are never okay and never the answer.
I really want Benson to understand what "no" means,
and to respect the opinions and the voice of all women.

I never want him to ever make a female feel as though she is ugly,
or not good enough.
I want him to learn to treat women in a way that builds them up.
I don't want him to lead them on of course,
but I want him to know that it's okay to be nice to everyone.

2. I Feel Guilty Spending More Time With Him Than His Dad

I really want for Benson and Spencer to have an amazing relationship.
I want Benson to be able to go to his Dad for anything and everything.
I still want to have an amazing relationship with him as well,
but I just feel like that father and son relationship is more important.

Benson is still really young,
but it's never too soon to start traditions and to make memories.
It's tricky right now because Spencer is still in school and has so many responsibilities.
While I'm at home,
even though I am still working,
I am the one there for most of the day to day activities with Benson.
I know that that won't change much when Spencer graduates because he will get a real job,
but I feel that we can start now to develop specific father and son time.

I think that by setting up a father and son only night once a month will be an amazing opportunity for them to grow closer and to bond more.
Benson will learn that he can ask Spencer ask questions that he may have.
And that if he makes a mistake,
whatever it may be,
that he can go to his father for advice,
and love.

I love spending time with Benson,
but that more time he gets to spend with his Dad,
the better off I feel he will be.

3. I Don't Feel the Push to Make Him Masculine

 I always thought that if I ever had a son,
it would be all boy everything.
Blue everything,
toy cars,
and superheros galore.
But that's not the case.

He has an older sister who has barbies,
she has dress up clothes,
and she has necklaces.

I do not even feel the slightest need to pull off a necklace when he puts it on,
or to tell him he cannot play with a certain toy because it's girly.

I guess I'm not one of those parents who feel that if my son plays with a barbie,
that I am encouraging him to live a certain lifestyle.
He is an active baby who loves to play and use his imagination.
Who am I to say no to him or to stop his imagination from blooming?

Raising a son is drastically different than raising a daughter.
I feel almost more pressure to make sure that he turns out a good person than my daughter.
The world needs good men,
and I am determined to give them at least one.
There's no way to raise a son perfectly,
but I want to do my best to surround him with positive male examples,
and to lift him up myself.
Parenting is tough.
But in my opinion,
raising a son has a lot more pressure than raising a daughter.

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