Sunday, September 29, 2013

Day 770... Saying Goodbye

I have never been good at dealing with change. It's just not something that I think is fun to do. Emotionally it can be very difficult. But when something that you once loved begins to hurt the people you love more than anything in the world, a change becomes necessary. I am heartbroken and still in shock that I was able to make one of the hardest decisions of my life this past week. It was unexpected and will haunt me for sometime, but I have been blessed to know that the decision that I made, as difficult as it was, was the correct decision.

On Friday, after a super fun and freezing football game (even though we lost... again) I resigned from coaching.

Coaching cheerleading was my dream job. The past 4 years have been amazing! I have been able to take teams to a national competition, take teams to state, made friendships and developed skills and talents that I never knew that I had. Coaching was something I was good at. I know that. But it wasn't fair to my husband to watch me cry and be constantly unhappy every day, and not be able to do a single thing about it.

I learned that coaching in different communities is very different! Two of my years were spent in Utah. Here in Idaho coaching is very different in many ways. It's a much smaller community and a very different environment. As much I love that team and my job, the environment became toxic for my family, in the fact that it took time apart from time that could be shared together, time that was needed to be spen together, and my family is more important to me than my dream job.

It's been a very rough weekend and I'm sure things will not get easier for a little while, but I am looking forward to the time I will now be able to dedicate to the thing that matter the most. My family.

I have been told that doing the things that scare you the most are often the choices that would be most rewarding. I'm taking that leap of faith now. I'm changing my life to better my family.

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