Monday, April 4, 2016

DAY 1671... Cry Baby

I cry a lot.

Anyone who is close to me knows this.
Sometimes they secretly film me when a commercial or movie comes on that they know will make me emotional.
Not cool.

My crying has gotten much worse since I have had children.

I don't cry because something is sad.
This is a common misunderstanding.

When I cry about a song,
I cry because I put myself in the situation and from there my emotions take over.

Usually when I cry,
I'm so happy it's insane.
But that's not always the case.

I remember when I was 9,
I cried for the first time at a TV show,
because Full House ended.
I remember when I was 10,
I cried for the first time while reading a book.
The book was Charly.
Still makes me cry.
I remember when I was 12,
I cried for the first time during a movie.
Anne of Green Gables.
When Matthew dies.
I remember when I was 16,
I cried randomly just weird.
We were in the kitchen and my Dad was telling us about this song,
with a blind guy and football and how he could never see the game and watch his son play,
but then he died and then he could watch the game.
So random,
so weird,
bawled my eyes out in the kitchen.
It was the first time I ever remember just crying from a story,
about something that I really had no attachment to.

There are several guaranteed moments in which I will cry.
They are as followed.

1. The episode of The Office when Jim and Pam finally get married.

I will cry every time!
Along with Cory and Topanga,
Jim and Pam are one of my all time favorite TV couples.
This episode is packed with tear jerking moments.
It's just fantastic and awesome.

I know that The Office is fictional.
But that does not matter at all.
It still makes me cry.

2. Senior nights.

It doesn't matter if I don't know any of the seniors,
It doesn't matter if I have no connection to the school,
It doesn't matter if I'm not physically there and only see pictures...

I bawled my eyes out at my own senior night.

I love watching anyone getting recognition for doing some thing they love.
Something that brought them happiness.
Sometimes something that saved them,
Hopefully something that gave them confidence,
Something that helped them survive the emotional and insecurities that high school can bring.
Senior nights are incredibly emotional for me.

3. Toy Story 3.


During the very first Thanksgiving that my brother in law came to,
we watched Toy Story 3 together as a family.
It was a very weird moment for him I'm sure,
when at the end of the movie I attempted to say something,
but instead all that came out was a high pitched squeal,
followed by straight up bawling.

My family still laughs about this all the time.

Toy Story 3 ends so perfectly.
And again,
I wasn't crying because I was sad,
I was crying because it was a happy moment. 
Happy endings are worth a few tears as well.

4. Watching General Conference.

I love the Gospel so much.
But often,
very often,
I forget about it's truth,
and I get so distracted in my daily life that I forget everything that my Savior has to offer me.

General Conference is a great opportunity for me to re-focus myself,
and to remember what is important.

The Gospel truly touches me and makes me incredibly emotional.
It is wonderful.

During the most recent conference,
one of the speakers talked about a little boy who was asked to give a talk in primary.
This little boy did not have anyone who could help him with his talk,
and because he was worried that he would forget the words and would have no one to help him remember his talk,
he decided to stop going to primary.

I bawled my eyes out during this story.
I looked at my children and prayed that they would never feel this way.
I prayed that they would always know that I am here to help them,
that I want to help them,
and that they can always ask for help no matter what.

No child should ever feel like they have no one.

If you're interested in learning more about General Conference you can do that at

5. Holding my babies for the first time.

Is there anything more emotional than meeting your children for the first time?
The overwhelming sense of love that you feel immediately for that child.
The bond that is instantly created between you and your newborn child.
The realization that you are now responsible for not only yourself, 
but also for this perfect little human.
The fear of what the future could bring.

There are just so many emotions and thoughts that run through your mind when you first hold that tiny infant,
and for me,
I cannot control those emotions.
I pretty much just cry all day every day the first several weeks after a have a baby.

6. My children's milestones.


Watching my children grow and learn is one of my favorite things.
But it makes me incredibly emotional thinking that my babies are turning the children,
that they are becoming more and more exposed to the world and not cuddled in my arms safe and sound forever.

Watching their satisfaction and happiness and sense of accomplishment as they reach milestones is so rewarding.

This is something that I yearned for growing up.
I couldn't wait until the day that I could watch my children reach their goals and accomplish new things.
And the actual experience has been even more amazing than I ever could have imagined!

7. Reading Love You Forever.

I don't even feel as though I need to explain this one.

8. If my Jamba Juice spills or Little Caesar's forgets my craszy crust.

so maybe this only applies is I"m pregnant.
these are the ways we realized that I was pregnant.

I was at an early morning cheer practice coaching when I was first pregnant.
I had brought a Jamba and another coach's little boy accidentally spilled it.
I bawled my eyes out!

That's when Spencer said I needed to take a pregnancy test.

Fast forward several years later,
Spencer had picked up a pizza for dinner and I had specifically asked for crazy crust.
When I opened the pizza box,
there was no crazy crust.
I may or may not have burst into tears and broke a glass plate.

One pregnancy test later and we learned that Benson was on his way.

9. When I listen to In My Daughter's Eyes.

I think I cry because I just hope and pray that Aniston thinks of me as she sings about in the song.
I hope that she is proud of me.
I hope that she thinks I'm fearless.

10. Any movie that is based on a true story.
Especially sports movies...
Remember The Titans
Any of them.
Tears for days!

Moral of the story...
I am a cry baby.
I'm not ashamed of it...
it's part of who I am.

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