I have always been fairly happy being a working mom. I got my job in Rexburg when Aniston was only 10 days old, so I have really never been a full time mom. To make matters worse, I have never really been a full time wife either. Work has always held me back in those regards and that's been really hard for me to accept.
After having Benson, 6 weeks ago today, I had a desire to stay at home with my kids instead of working. Of course, it wasn't even an option. Spencer is in school and I needed to work in order to provide for our family.
Then a miracle happened.
Spencer was offered an internship in Rigby, a close city, that pays well and fulfills 1 of his 2 required internships. After crunching the numbers we realized that he would be making more than I was and that we could consider some changes in our life. Once again, I was faced with a HUGE decision. For me, my job wasn't just about making money. My friends were at work, I loved my job, it was such a blessing to have a job like that. I was worried that if I quit my job I wouldn't have any friends. I worried that I would go days without adult contact. I was worried that I would stay in my sweat pants all day. I was worried that I was not a good enough mother to do it full time.
Yesterday, I decided I would rather be a stay at home mom than a working mom. For the remainder of the school year I will continue to do the paperwork side of the program, but that can be easily done from home.
This is such a huge change in my life that I feel so overwhelmed and scared. I'm definitely excited. I'm excited to be able to have dinner ready for Spencer when he comes home from work and to have him walk into a clean house. I'm excited to never miss a moment with my babies and to be able to get to know them even better. Work provided a wonderful opportunity for my little family. It was the perfect job for the past 2 1/2 years, but my family has changed and evolved, and so life is changing and evolving.
I feel very blessed to have this opportunity to stay at home because I know not every mom has this opportunity. I'm blessed to have a husband who feels that me staying at home is important enough that he is making it possible for me to stay at home. I am flattered that he considers me a good enough mom to take on this adventure, and that faith in me really inspires me to be the best mom that I can possibly be. I know that staying at home will be one of the biggest challenges that I have ever had in my life. I like to be accountable and I like to see my work praised, and that's why I liked to work. But I know that raising children with good values and under my own care will be the greatest work that I will ever do.