Monday, June 30, 2014

DAY 1039... Everything Change's

There are a lot of changes going on in our lives right now. A LOT of changes.

I have never been a fan of change. It stresses me out and makes me anxious and it is just rough sometimes. Aniston is very much the same way. Lucky me. I feel like in the past year there have been so many changes in our lives, some good and some bad. I feel like this song is my theme song right now. Seriously, I listen to it in my car all the time.

I'm becoming more and more okay with changes and I want to make sure that I am raising Aniston to know that it's okay if things change. I want her to be flexible and prepared for changes in her life.

About 2 months ago our apartment flooded. Super awesome right? The landlord was out of the country and wasn't available to get a hold of... he didn't even tell us that he was leaving the country and didn't leave us with anyone else to get a hold of. It was a disaster. You could literally smell the mold forming within hours. We knew we had to get out of there ASAP. Somehow, we were extremely blessed. We found a house, not an apartment, but a 2000 square foot house, 5 bedrooms 2 bathrooms, a small yard and just a great place for our family to live. The kicker? It's only $690 a month and that includes everything including Dish and internet and we just pay the electric. This was a HUGE blessing. We are paying less at this house with much more space, than we were at our last apartment. Also the landlords are great. BONUS! It's an older house, but Spencer and I really do love the character and basically all of the space that we have!

 Kitchen... Love the green? Normally we do not have a potty in our kitchen PS.
 Living room area. Normally destroyed with toys.
 Toy room/office area. Half of the room has carpet, which is the toy room part and the other half has wood floors and that's our office area.
 The view when you walk in.
 Dining room area. It's kind of huge so we use half for our table and the other half for Aniston's kitchen and more play area for her.
The kid's room. Aniston bit a lot of the paint off her crib (which I found out is normal), so we are still planning on repainting that before we move the babe into that crib. The room is pretty big so there's still plenty of space even with the crib, Ani's big girl bed and everything else we have in there.

Don't judge our yard... we have leveled it and planted grass since, but taking care of the yard is a whole new thing for us!

So that's one change that we have experienced recently. We really love it though, so I guess it's easier to adjust to changes when it's such an upgrade and an obviously good thing for our growing family. Let me tell you though.... Out of the 4 moves Spencer and I have had in our married life together, 2 of them happened while I was pregnant and I do not find that enjoyable. It's more annoying because I can't do anything. Lame.

The next change was a new car. Our little Kia did not have enough room for 2 car seats. We struggled with one when it came to Aniston. Spencer, loves to look at new cars but car salesmen and the entire process stresses me out. We have been looking for like over a year for a new car. We finally found a great dealership here in town who helped us out and last weekend we bought a 2013 Dodge Avenger. We weren't looking for our dream car, just a car that was a good deal and would make it through the next couple of years. And with only 12,000 miles and at $10,000... we thought this car fit. So far we absolutely love it! It will be perfect for when the little dude arrives.

Aniston seems to sense that when the baby comes that there will be quite a change. She was been spending more time cuddling and just being with and playing with Spencer and I than usual. She rubs my belly every day, multiple times a day and says, "Hi baby brother. I'm excited to see you." It's cute, but I am not convinced that she completely understands what is going on. But she loves shopping for him. There are quite a few adorable clothing options for little boys! So different than shopping for girls, but still fun!

Since the baby is coming, we moved Aniston into her big girl bed so that the baby can sleep in the crib. We have decided to have the kids share a bedroom for the first little while because we have two bedrooms upstairs and I'm not ready to move Ani to a different floor than mom and dad. The baby will be in our room until we bless him and then we will move him to Ani's room. Aniston is really excited to share a room and I think it will be good. Aniston LOVES her big girl bed! PS - She is a tad bit obsessed with Minnie Mouse, thus the bedspread...

It was emotional to me to see her little self in a big bed and growing up, but she has done GREAT! She fell out once on the first night, but I bought a railing and it's all good now. She takes her naps in the big girl bed too and she refuses to get out of bed until someone comes into her room to get her. I don't think this will last, but it's wonderful for right now! She tells me every day that the crib is for baby brother. Watching my little girl grow up is tough! But I'm so proud of her and the little person she is becoming.

Aniston also started swim lessons (tear) seriously, can she just stop growing up! I was so proud of her and I just felt so proud. Being a Mom is so freaking hard. So hard. But there are multiple times a day where you just feel so rewarded and so blessed and so much in love with the child that you created! Being a mom is pretty great! I haven't even been a mom for two years yet and already it's one of my favorite things!

Look at those little arms and little legs kicking and stroking away!
I just love watching her be so happy in the water! She is such a fish!

The thing about change is that it's going to happen. It's inevitable. I want to become better at accepting and adjusting to change because I think that will only make me stronger and smarter for the future. I want to set a good example for my children when it comes to change and I want to have the confidence in myself to know that everything will be okay despite of the many changes that will come along with the ride of life.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

DAY 1030... Lazy Service

Let's talk about service. We all do it, at least in some form whether we know it or not. We do it by holding a door open for the person behind us or in bigger ways like helping with a tough yard project or even by meeting with a friend who just needs someone to talk to.

But let's be honest...

We have become lazy in our service. At least that is my observation.

We too often think that by donating whatever amount to the latest fad of "GOFUNDME" that we have served. We pay attention to the sick and the handicap or to those who have suffered a large misfortune, and I'm definitely not saying those aren't worthy causes because they are, but why are we forgetting about the people who just need help. The normal people who are doing the things that they are supposed to be doing and working hard, but still would appreciate and still need the support? These are the types of people who don't ask for it, but could use it. Spencer and I never got to go on a Honeymoon, so maybe I should set up a "GOFUNDME" account because we deserve to go on a honeymoon. That's not how it works, but that's what is happening. It's absurd! Stop buying new clothes every week or new cars or workout equipment, and spend your money more wisely where it counts. It doesn't matter what type of car you drive, or the house you live in, or what kind of shoes your 2 year old wears. Help yourself before you ask others for help. Do everything you can for yourself before you ask others to do the hard work for you. I am blown away by the laziness of our society and the attitude of well, we can't really afford it, which usually means you don't technically need it, but I am going to ask for other people to give me money so I can get it. Then people donate and consider it service. Hate to break it to you... that is not true service! Service means getting off your lazy bum and helping people.

My youngest brother had his Eagle Project today. Leading up to the project he had people asking when it was so they could help, and heaven knows my family goes to every single project they possibly can to help others. But guess who showed up? No one. I'm calling you out Rexburg, you are not what you tell everyone you are. You are not supportive or loving at all. You are only concerned about how you can benefit and if you can't then you don't help. I have seen it more than once here and I'm tired of it. Stop pretending to be perfect because you are far from it. What's the point of pretending you're interested if you're not? It's dishonest and annoying. I don't like it.

When my oldest brother did his project in Hawaii there were so many members and nonmembers alike it was crazy! I'm actually thinking there may have been more nonmembers there supporting him. People in Hawaii genuinely wanted to help. And they did. They are some of the most loving and kind people. Did I particularity want to go help this morning? Definitely not. I slept awful and didn't feel good and it was hot outside and I'm pregnant and Aniston has been somewhat of a devil child lately (terrible twos do exist) and it was inconvenient. But, I knew that it was important that I be there. I was going to get nothing from it, but it is important to support people who are doing good and honorable things, so I went. Heaven bless my little brother. If I were 15 and no one showed up to support me in such an honorable and noble cause, I would have been destroyed. I would cry myself to sleep for the next 3 weeks. I would wonder what I did wrong and why no one wanted to help me. But lucky for us, my brother is stronger than I am and knows that Rexburg has this weakness. Bless his heart! He is a good boy who will do amazing things because he is forgiving. More so than I am anyway. He will be at the next project that needs his help and he will continue to serve others even though they neglect to serve him. He won't let this get him down because he still accomplished his goals and he knows that his family will support him no matter what.

Car shows, pregnancy, crazy children, TV, homework, none of those are good excuses for not serving others. But, we are allowed accountability and everyone gets the wonderful opportunity of making their own choices in this life. Have I always made the best choices? Definitely not. But I try. That's all anybody can do is try. I'm just hoping to encourage people to get out and serve more. Think less of yourself and more about others. What happened the the Golden Rule?

My parents and my brother did not complain or even say a word today about the fact that no one showed up. They are such good people and such amazing examples to me! They are so much better then me, because I am hormonal and upset for them about this. They worked hard to put this together and they do more for everyone around them without ever asking for help. They are GOOD people, and there are few good people left in this world. I hope that they know what amazing examples they are to me and how they uplift and inspire me daily. I want to be better like them, but I have A LOT of work to do. There is no doubt in my mind that they will be blessed for their efforts in life. I'm proud to be a part of my family. Proud to be raised by parents who taught me to serve others and to uplift others and to support others despite of how they treat you. Thank you Mom and Dad for setting an example for me about the kind of person I want to become and should strive to be. I love you and I loved being a part of Ryan's Eagle project!

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

DAY 1026... Morbidly Obese

Morbidly obese... That's what they doctor called me at my appointment yesterday. It wasn't my usual doctor and I was already a mess because they couldn't find a heartbeat until they finally pulled out the ultrasound machine. But seriously.... Morbidly obese? Look, I know I'm not the skinniest pregnant lady ever, and I know I still had weight to lose when I got pregnant, but I also know I'm not the biggest person in the world to ever get pregnant. This pregnancy I haven't even gained as much as I did with Ani at this point, and I am definitely more active. Stupid B.M.I. Just anther reason I hate being short. Have I ever told you that my dream height is 5 foot 6 inches.... This is probably because I was massively obsessed with Sweet Valley books growing up and the twins in those books were 5'6". Haha. I'm so lame sometimes. But alas.... I am 5 foot 4 forever.

So while there is nothing I can do about my height, I guess I need to change my eating habits and be even more active? The doctor didn't tell me I needed to do anything about this issue, but I sure as heck don't want to go back to only be told again that I am endangering my unborn child because I'm too fat. Ughhhhhhh! I'm still so mad and depressed about this. You can bet that when the doctor walked out the door I burst into tears. It didn't help that we waited almost two hours at the office. There was definitely something crazy going on in that office because normally we are out and in fairly quickly. Just not an awesome appointment and apparently changes need to be made.

While considering my options and probably dwelling a little too much on being morbidly obese, it occurred to me how much being pregnant is like being on a diet and working out. Obviously, they have complete opposite results but consider it for a second....

In both instances you are basically hungry all the time, but what you can eat is extremely limited.
In both instances you have to pee all the time, either due to the amount of water you are consuming or because you have a baby bouncing on your bladder.
In both instances you are sore all the time!
In both instances you are always tired!
In both instances you live on Pinterest, either looking up the latest workouts or healthy recipes or nursery ideas and how to dress your ever growing baby bump.
In both instances your body is undergoing some serious changes.
In both instances you write everything down, either because you're pregnant and you can remember anything, or because you need to keep track of how many sit ups and lunges you did that day.
In both instances sleep is AMAZING!

Maybe it's just me but the similarities are pretty insane. 

I guess we will see what the doc says in 4 weeks, and meanwhile I will bury my depression in cuddles from Aniston ( I think she can sense that things will be changing soon because she went from a cuddle hater, to always asking to hold me) HGTV, afternoon naps, and these two good looking people...

Here's the kicker.... Because we had to wait so long, despite of my obesity, the doctor's office gave Spencer and I free large sundaes from Dairy Queen.... Call me fat then load me up with soft serve. Perfect.

Monday, June 16, 2014

DAY 1025... Oh Boy....

Our little family spent the past weekend in Utah. While we were there we were able to go to our favorite place in the mall, the Fetal Studio, to find out the gender of our baby. Some people think that it's really weird to go to an ultrasound place in a mall, but it's run and owned by an OB and it's awesome! Maybe it's just a Utah thing. This was the same place where we found out that Aniston was a girl, and it was extra special because Spencer's Mom was able to come with us. The doctor who did my ultrasound was so nice, funny, and very supportive. I have a fear of ultrasounds. I am always terrified that they won't find a heartbeat and all of that good stuff. The amount of anxiety that I had before the appointment was insane. I basically stayed in the bathroom forever. The doctor was great at doing, if that's the correct verb to use, the ultrasound. Maybe it's just the baby... Aniston hated getting ultrasounds, she fought them from day one and it took forever to even determine her gender. But this little baby was so calm and it was very easy to determine that it is a....
 Spencer is totally over the moon and couldn't be more excited to be having a little boy! Basically, this was the best Father's Day gift ever! I am excited too of course, but scared out of my mind! I do not know how to do boys... I have a girl. I'm just so scared!

The doctor did point out that the baby has some massive lips already... looks like that will be one thing our children have in common. They get massive lips from their mom. Poor little guy was a little squished by mom's placenta.... my bad.

I feel as though there is a lot of pressure when it comes to raising boys. Boys grow up to be men and men need to be respectful and kind and loving and what if I can't do that? Luckily, he will have a great Dad and grandparents and uncles to look up to, but still I feel a lot of pressure. But I cannot wait for baby boy to wear a cute little bow tie and for Ani to wear a matching head bow. Yes, I will be one of those moms. And before we go any further, may I remind you that Spencer and I do not name our children until after they are born and we have the chance to meet them. So don't ask and don't expect a name until after our little boy has arrived. Aniston was nameless for about 24 hours. Spencer and I cannot agree on boy names anyway so that should be a super fun process.

Finding out the gender of our baby was amazing, but while we were in Utah we were also able to go to the zoo... Aniston was in HEAVEN! We went shopping, of course for boy clothes (so cute and so so tiny... we even found a cute construction onesie that is perfect is Spencer is going into Construction Management)

and spend a lot of time with Spencer's parents as well as attending Spencer's best friends baby blessing. I was able to hold the baby after the blessing and she is about 2 months old, and I suddenly forgot completely how to handle such a tiny baby! That can't be a good thing. I had forgotten how tiny babies can be and how fragile they are. I am seriously more scared about having my second baby than I ever was with Aniston. I think not knowing anything sometimes is better than already having experienced it. I know I'm capable of having another baby and starting all over, but it's a little overwhelming and scary right now. I'm really surprised I feel this way. I am scared out of my mind. Please someone tell me that it's totally normal to feel this way with your second baby!
 Aniston LOVED the train at the zoo. They recently completely remodeled the train so that it drives through an African Safari and it was amazing! Minus the Lion... Aniston has a fear of Simba so she wasn't a fan of the huge Lion that was probably like 7 feet away from us.
 So we watched this episode of Fantasy Factory one day where they had the Carl's Junior Happy Star mascot on there and since then Aniston has been obsessed with Happy Star. We don't have a Carl's Junior in Rexburg, so we decided to make her dreams come true by taking her to lunch at Carl's Junior. I have never seen a child so happy! She pointed out every Carl's Junior we passed on the drive and just would smile and laugh and say "Look, Happy Star!"
 Aniston has discovered a love for dinosaurs. She has several little "baby dinosaurs" as she calls them and she is always playing with them. So being able to play on big dinosaurs was another dream come true this weekend.
 We are a family obsessed with sunglasses...
 Aniston was a little sick all weekend, but I promise she had a blast with Grandpa!
 She definitely enjoyed being able to ride in the wheelchair with Grandpa at the zoo!
 More dinosaur happiness!
Probably the best thing I ate all weekend! It was HEAVENLY!

Spencer and I are also accepting name ideas at this time. We have already downloaded apps and looked through phone books (the old fashioned way) but we are a little overwhelmed (how many times can I use that word in one post huh) because nothing sounds right to us. Luckily we have plenty of time (kind of) to find a name.

Someone wants to be just like Mom!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

DAY 1019... 5 Things I can Apparently Not Do Pregnant

Pregnancy is a funny thing. It's definitely an incredible thing, especially when you think about how your body spends 9 months making a human.... Kind of weird, but definitely amazing. I had heard that all pregnancies were different, and I was seriously hoping for something different after the "wonderful" pregnancy experience Aniston Kate gave me. (Insert me rolling my eyes here) And it has been different this time, thankfully. Instead of being on constant bed rest with IV's and PICC lines watching everything Netflix has to offer, I have been blessed to be fairly active and healthy. However, I have noticed that there are several things that I simply cannot do while I'm pregnant.

1. Play disc golf. This one is weird right? You would think that disc golf is a fairly low impact sport, not a big deal right? Well apparently it is. We have gotten pretty into disc golf lately and have been playing 3-4 times a week. Last week I noticed a very sharp pain in my left side, sharp to the point that when I bent down to pick up Aniston I could not stand up. I'm a HUGE worrier during pregnancy. Every time we go to the doctor I'm worried there will be no heartbeat, or that we will find a third leg, or something. I can tend to be pessimistic about stuff (trying to change) and so I tend to focus on the negative. I called the doctor and explained what was happening and what I had been doing. Turns out I'm not the only person to have this experience. Due to the twisting of the torso in disc golf combined with the ligament stretching during pregnancy that is what caused the pain. And that is what put me on bed rest for a few days. That sucked and Aniston seriously could not handle it, but I read a good book (bawled my eyes out during the entire thing of course... still highly recommend it) and rested and now I feel fine! We will just avoid disc golf for a while I guess...

2. Do dishes. I remember this problem when I was pregnant with Aniston but I feel like it's a thousand times worse this time around. I have been blessed to not dry heave at the exact same time every morning for about 20 minutes this time around as opposed to when I was pregnant with Aniston. My poor Utah cheerleaders that had to deal with my being so sick every morning.  So this morning I decided to tackle the kitchen. There was seriously hardly enough dishes for a load in the dishwasher, but I couldn't get through three dishes without throwing up. TMI? Oh well, my blog my stories. It started out just as a gag, but quickly developed into something much more. Much much more. Thank goodness that the side of the sink with the garbage disposal was empty. I absolutely hate, with an insane passion, doing the dishes while pregnant. Let me just say that Spencer has been great at doing the dishes, but he has been working extremely hard on his school work and that is more important than dishes. It's the same thing with cooking. Combining foods, it's just not okay while pregnant.

3. Watch absolutely anything. Everything on TV makes me cry. Everything from Master Chef, to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, to Property Brothers, and of course basically anything on TLC. Commercials are probably the worst. There is this Chevy commercial with soldiers coming home and at the very end there's this little girl who just melts my heart. I'll just show you...
Good luck not crying at that. Spencer has taken to secretly recording me while I'm watching TV because he thinks it's hilarious when I cry over such things. But really, I put myself in the place of the person on TV and I become overwhelmed with their gratitude, thankfulness, happiness, sadness, just every emotion you can possibly feel, I feel it watching TV. Basically we have had to get creative and keep busy in order to avoid watching TV.

4. Stay up past 9PM. I thought I was tired during my first pregnancy, but being pregnant with an almost 2 year old who is insanely active is C-R-A-Z-Y! Aniston has been super helpful! She is willing to go upstairs to get her diapers when we run out of them downstairs, she loves to throw garbage away, and she gives a decent foot rub. But she still has needs that I need to help her meet and I still need to parent her. By the end of the day I can hardly keep my eyes open. Aniston enjoys my tiredness I think at the end of the day because it means she gets extra long baths at night. Lucky for me Spencer goes to work from 9-12 at night so I don't feel guilty about going to bed so early. I do feel guilty sometimes because I feel as though I could be doing good work with my homework if I just managed to stay up just a few hours longer, but I'm still getting A's so it's all good. Also, sidenote, I only have 11 more weeks until I graduate with my Master's Degree!!! Whooo Hoooo!!!!!

5. Not capable of making decisions regarding food. Do not ask me what I want to eat. Do not ask me what's for dinner. Do not ask me where I want to go out to eat to. Just do not ask me about food. Period. I am constantly asking Spencer what he wants for dinner, because if it's left up to me nothing is going to get made because nothing besides Gator Jacks Breakfast Burritos, puffy (they have to be puffy) Cheetos, pretzels (hard or soft, soft with a side of nacho cheese), and macaroni salad ever sounds good to me these days. I consider myself a lucky wife because Spencer is amazingly easy to please and will eat whatever I make and just be grateful about it. But now it's a curse almost because he can never tell me what he wants. I have spoiled him by just having dinner always ready for him without a thought on his part. Needless to say, dinners at our house have been interesting. as of late.

Overall this pregnancy has been much better than the last. Of course, everyone thinks that means this little fetus is a boy. Well, we will find out on Saturday!!! We are headed to Utah for the weekend and have an appointment Saturday morning to find our the gender of our little fetus. Any guesses?