Thursday, March 13, 2014

DAY 931... I Wanna See You Be Brave

As a mother one of my biggest desires in life is to see my children be brave. I want them to achieve their goals and their dreams and to have the wishes of their hearts met. I want to raise them in a manner that will encourage them and support them and empower them to be brave. I want to raise my children to know that I want that for them and for them to know that I will do everything in my power to help them be brave. I am an extremely emotional person and even the thought of being able to witness my children being brave and reaching their goals makes me tear up. I was watching Project Runway (back episodes) at the gym this morning and I watched one of the final episodes, and there I was 6:30am bawling my eyes out while running my butt off just from observing the happiness the parents of the winning designer. How proud they must have been of their child. How silly I must have looked to everyone else brave enough to be at the gym that early.

Today, Aniston went to the dentist for the first time. I have been working really hard with her for the past 2 weeks in order to make her excited and just to make sure that she understood what the dentist is and how he is a nice man. I want the dentist to be a positive experience for her. I could sense she was experiencing some anxiety, after all she is my child, but when it came down to it she was so incredibly brave! She smiled, she let the dentist check her teeth... well according the the dentist her "perfect" teeth, and she even said thank you. I'm sure it was terrifying for her to be in a new place with new people and to have a stranger sticking their fingers in her mouth, but she handled it in a manner that  I hope she can handle so many different situations in the future. I know there are going to be times where she wants to coward away from a situation, but I want her to be brave. I want her to know that by standing up to her fears, that that makes her powerful. That makes her amazing. That makes her, for that brief moment, invincible. That makes her brave. Aniston loves Big Block Sing Song on the Disney channel and the very first episode we watched was called "Brave". It also happens to be one of her favorites.

I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for how much bravery we have. It can be something as simple as eating salad. It can simply be getting out of bed in the morning. I've been there, I know that. But I also know that the rewards of bravery can be beyond anything we have ever imagined. I also know, because I have moments of extreme cowardly behavior, that the results of not using the bravery that we are capable of can be devastating.

I am faced, everyday, with the option to be brave or to be a coward. We all are. I need to embrace bravery and start looking for a new job because I'm graduating soon and I want to find a job using my degree. The idea of expanding our family scares the living daylights out of me, but I need to be brave in our decision to do so. I need to learn and develop bravery in so many aspects of my life. Everything from being brave enough to do a workout that I know is going to hurt to being brave enough to say no when it needs to be said. Life demands bravery. Sure, we could live life cowardly and afraid and never fulfilled our dreams, but what kind of life is that? A sad and pathetic and wasted life. That's definitely not the kind of life I want to live. How lucky am I to have such a beautiful little person in my life who can demonstrate the type of bravery that I can only hope to develop. I am blessed beyond belief!

I think that this song by Sara Bareilles says it best. This song embraces my complete desire and my dreams for my Aniston and her future siblings. And yes.. I cry every time I listen to it.

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