DAY 1279... Diagnosed

It has been a rough 3 weeks for me. When we returned from Utah, I noticed that my thighs where covered in massive bruises and my legs were covered in bumps. I soon realized that the bruises were from me scratching my legs because they were incredibly itchy. I didn't even know that it was possible to create bruises through itching! It was kind of creepy because the bruises looked like hand prints. It's a good thing I wasn't wearing shorts because people would have thought Spencer was beating me or something. Fast forward 3 weeks later and the itching and bumps and bleeding and bruises now covered not only my legs but also my feet my arms and neck my chest and the back of my hands. It was incredibly uncomfortable and scary. We thought at first it thought it was a food allergy to strawberries... So depressing, but after I stopped eating strawberries nothing changed. Thank goodness because strawberries are so insanely delicious! But then we were back to square one. I went and bought some Non scented lotion and body wash that was intended to be used for people who struggle with eczema it seemed to help but it wasn't working 100%. I wasn't sleeping at night because the itching was worse at night, I couldn't focus on anything because I was so itchy. I never had the chicken pox and I've never stepped in Poison Ivy and I had just never experienced an itch so intense.

Finally after 3 weeks, I got my stuff together and went to the dermatologist.

BEST. DECISION. EVER.

After a quick exam and ruling out scabies (thank goodness) the doctor came to the conclusion that the rashes and bumps and itching and bruising and bleeding was all stress induced. Can you believe that?

Stress has always been a part of my life. My brain just never turns off. I lay in bed at night thinking about what I should have done or what I should have said even though there is nothing that I can do about it. I worry constantly about being a good enough mother and wife. I have been very stressed lately about losing weight and stressing out about liking myself more. I have been stressed about the fact that I have a master's degree and I'm not doing anything with it. I have been stressing about whether or not my house is clean enough, whether or not I paid the bills on time and even stressing out about waking up on time in order to exercise in the morning. I stress over the 3 m&m's I ate that I shouldn't have and how I could have did that extra load of laundry instead of watching a movie. It's ridiculous. My brain never turns off. These things aren't super important and I truly believe that I am doing everything that I can to make my home and family and myself the best they possibly can be, but I am always stressing. Always.

I have never had my stress manifest itself this way before. It blew my mind. So the doctor prescribed me some Benadryl to take at night to ease the itch and to help me sleep. And yes, it works. Besides Benson waking up once or twice at night, I am sleeping like a champ! He also prescribed me a steroid for during the day that has completely eased the itching and my skin is finally looking better and returning to normal.

I feel grateful that this wasn't contagious and that my children and husband are healthy and safe, and that I am finding ways to better manage myself and the stresses in my life. I have started doing 15 minutes of yoga at bedtime in order to calm my mind and my spirit before I go to sleep and I have been looking into other ways to destress my life.

Learning to let go of stress and  calming my mind will definitely be a learning process, but I really don't see anyway that this will have a negative aspect on my life at all. I really think that this will be a really good thing for me and for my future. I am blessed in my life with beautiful children who love each other and who brighten my day. Life is too short to deal with itchy skin and stress.